My life in the clouds.

Living in the clouds has its advantages. It’s still true. They have a majestic beauty and they create a soft film through which to see my surroundings. The clouds gather about me in the forms of loyal dogs, the adorable man on the reversed tricycle with the speaker overhead, affectionate children, delicious bread, the mountains in every view, the colorful streets, the Jesus statue parade, and multitudes of others.

However, living in the clouds has its disadvantages as well. When the clouds start to clear, the pain hidden among them becomes more visible.

Today, we had our weekly discussion with the director of our school. Our topic has been the 36 year armed conflict in Guatemala, which we are not far removed from as far as time is concerned. Today, he asked me to translate a story to the group from a book written in the 1980s. I had a hard time with the language as there were many words I didn’t understand. But I had a more difficult time with the content. It was another story of a village persecuted at the whim of a government in search of “communists” in order to satisfy the desire of the US CIA, foreign (American) companies and a few in power to eradicate supposed communists via unfair accusations, institutionalized slavery and eventual massacres.

We learned more of the story today. We learned of the role of the neopentecostal church and how they started churches and because they had money-- and with the assistance of the government-- they would give people food and necessities if the people handed over their guns—but only if they also converted to this church. The Catholic church at the time was considered to be radical and leftist by the government because they talked about freedom and equality and justice, but the neopentecostal church talked about how everything happens for a reason and we just need to accept our life circumstances. Two very different philosophies under the same faith heading.

I don’t think that I’m incredibly naïve, and I know these things happen all the time. I know that my government was involved in this whole situation in a VERY negative way, basically supporting the massacres in the name of anti-communism, and that my government and others everywhere are involved in many conflicts in various ways that I will never understand completely. I know that it is complex, and there are two sides to every story. But it doesn’t make it any less wrong. And just because civil wars and armed conflicts and tragedies are an everyday occurrence doesn’t mean that hearing about them shouldn’t break my heart.

Walking down the hill today, I began to step out of the clouds. As my tears threatened to choke me, all I could think of was this song:

Changes Come –by Over the Rhine

Changes come…turn my world around.
Changes come…turn my world around.

I have my father’s hand, I have my mother’s tongue
I look for redemption in everyone.
I wanna wear your ring, I have a song to sing
It aint over babe, in fact it’s just begun.

Changes come…turn my world around
Changes come…bring the whole thing down.

I wanna have our baby, somedays I think that maybe
This old world’s too messed up for any firstborn son

There is all this untouched beauty, the light the dark both running through me
Is there still redemption for anyone?

Changes come…turn my world around.
Changes come…bring the whole thing down.

Jesus come…turn our world around.
Jesus come…lay my burden down.
Jesus come…turn this world around.
Jesus come…bring the whole thing down.


If you've never heard the song, the live version is well worth a listen.

Videos...

Donut eating contest videos:




Contestant 1:



Contestant 2:



Contestant 3:



Contestant 4:



The results?





A video of dancing before the Buena Vista Social Club Concert!!




And two videos of the Capoeira demonstration at the Brazilian party...

Buena Vista Social Club!

Last night, as a last minute decision, I went to a Buena Vista Social Club concert....it was absolutely incredible! Looking back, I can't believe I considered NOT going...there were tons of people from the really young to the really old dancing their heart's out...quite magical!

I was able to do some salsa dancing with some friends, and I even learned a little Cha Cha Cha. It was such a great experience to get to dance to the live music of a world renowed salsa group.

Here's a short video of the band...I have a video of dancing with a friend of mine from school, but it's sideways...not sure how to fix that. I'm trying to get it on youtube, then maybe i'll be able to edit. not sure. I have some pictures as well that I'll post soon from my classes at La Cuchilla school and from the concert last night.

Fotos...

A few more fotos of the past week or so...

1. The Flores Barrio version of an Art and Music Party...I saw kids dancing in cowboy hats and some artwork on display and books for sell/trade...pretty cool, really!




2. This was in a courtyard outside of a bakery where I went to a benefit breakfast. There were so many cool things to look at that I had to snap a foto.

3. Last night, our upstairs crew went to see our "roommate" Tim play guitar at El Cuartito, or as Edwin *guy towards the right* says: Al Gore-tito. Yeah, it's kinda a funny pic...

4. The chair hanging from the ceiling at Al Gore-tito. We decided that was the place where they put people who don't like their coffee.

5. Our table....very chill.

6. This is another coffeehouse type place that we found called La Luna. It's so amazing...it's somewhat of a museum/wine and cheese shop/chocolateria...etc. Great decor and lighting....

7. Edwin from Sweden, Kate from NY, Rosa from Aberdeen all studying together at La Luna.

8. I think I am in love with this No Smoking sign....

9. Found this statue in a park inside of the municipal building...I realized later that a man in a tuxedo was smiling at me the whole time I was walking around...it was like something sweet from a 40s movie...

10. A view of the enclosed park

Good Morning, Xela!

I can't imagine what could possibly bang so loudly at 6:30am right outside my window, and then I remember: Guatemaltecos love fireworks. The barrage of kapows stifles any further desire to sleep, and as soon as I sit up, I realize that once again, last night's tea has moved quickly, and I rush down to the bathroom frantically gathering my shower stuff as I go.

I flip the electricity switch and hope that I can turn the shower on only sighly enough for it to become warm. I figured it would become easier to create the perfect temperature, but time serves only to give the shower more opportunity to be inconsistent.

Later, I greet the other travelers in our community kitchen at the hostel. We, with our various accents and purposes for traveling, negotiate whether our shared language for the meal will be English or Spanish. Usually it becomes an odd mixture of the two. Someone always persists that we must use Spanish since we are in Guatemala in fact, while another quickly says, "It's too early for my brain to use Spanish." I agree with both of them.

I rush through breakfast with a fresh appreciation for tea, and I step outside the hostel hoping that I've planned my clothing for the various seasons we will experience today.

Outside, I am immediately greeted by the smell that I adore more everyday: the enchanting mix of tortillas frying, exhaust, coniferous trees, crisp air, and metal. I enjoy my 25 minute walk to the school with growing enthusiasm. I see some new faces and some familiar, which both paints my foreign-ness and erases it. I see the Mayan women with their friendly faces, and the business men with umbrellas in hand. I see Carlos' brother, the Xelapan guy and later the Xelapan girl. I see the serious teenager and wish for an opportunity to talk to the Adam Sandler child look alike.

I walk the same path each day, but always there is something new. I measure the walk by the tiendas and businesses. First stop: Mercado de Flores. Right turn: Casa Argentina/Quetzaltrekkers. Top the the first hill: Copy shop and wide turning buses. Second corner: Oil Change place and bus stop. Merge right: Dirt road and El Nahual sign. As I walk, I pace my breathing to coincide with the passing of the chicken buses, and when I get to the lumberyard I make sure to breathe in a few extra.

I struggle up the last hill, panting more with each step. The only fuel that propels me to the top is the thought that, even if quite slightly, the climb was easier today than yesterday.

I meet the dogs with blood in their eyes. I am forever suspicious of their intentions yet when they walk me home, I could not trust them more. I've named one Shadow; no matter how I try to escape him he remains connected to my steps. Ever the hunter, he sniffs for food as we walk. When I offer him a bit of my cracker, he graciously declines.

Santa Maria is an ever-present companion. If the landscape were a conversation, she would be pressing her megaphone to my ear. And when she hides in her screen of clouds, that is when her presence is most immutable.

I see the cows clambering towards me, their heads bobbing. We have one thing in common: we share an eternal optimisim. Just as I forever hope that my bedbugs will decide not to haunt me each evening, so the cows anticipate the next bob of their heads will free them from their ropes. Perhaps we're all silly.

The farmer is only slightly behind the herd. He trots on as if being pulled by the cows against his will. He offers a slight "buenos dias" ever so politely. The lines on his face and the light in his eyes reveal a preoccupation that I do not know.

The clouds are painted more majestically each day. Living among them has its perks as they are more beautiful up close.

And though I am merely a few hundred feet higher than my other world back at home, as I walk the last few steps to the living gift appropriately named El Nahual, I have the feeling that somehow upon this hill I am walking a little closer to heaven.

Today, I went with some friends, Julia and Kate, to Fuentes Georginas...hot springs! It was one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. The drive there was breathtaking as well, with wonderful views of Santa Maria in the clouds. Here are some photos and a video:


1. Santa Maria from up in the clouds.


2. Another view...she's beautiful!

3. A view of Zunil

4. Vegetable stands like this lined the street...how do they each sell enough? I love the colors...

5. The Hot Springs....so relaxing!

6. It really felt like paradise with the cool air and hot water...

7. Great vegetation...it felt like paradise!

8. Even a place to pray...

9. The mountains go on forever...

10. This is a view of Parque Central at night from a balcony restaurant.

11. Leaving Xela to go to Fuentes...

12. I'd like to hear this band...

13. Another view of Zunil in the clouds...

14. The flowers and plants at Fuentes...

This video is from our bus of a spectucular view of Santa Maria. It's not the clearest, and it's tough to hear the commentary, but it gives a taste of what it was like. We were all in love with the view....

doble

It's funny how time changes our perceptions--and our memories as well.

My first week in Xela seems like eons ago. And I remember my perception of the city then...how things looked, where things were, the general vibe of the neighborhoods, etc. And those things have all transformed in my head to new perceptions...and perhaps will continue to morph. I was walking today on the street where I live and I saw another Spanish school/internet cafe that I used to go to now and then. The place had such a different vibe to me before I lived two blocks away from it. weird.

Today, I went to Parque Central to read for a bit. It was very refreshing--the sun was strong, the breeze was cool, and the park content. I was reading a book by Henri Nouwen and really enjoyed some quotes/thoughts:

"Just as words lost their power when they are not born out of silence, so openness loses its meaning when there is no ability to be closed." Here he was talking about the need to "protect the mysteries of our lives" and not reveal all through "empty chatter, easy confessions, hollow talk, senseless compliments, poor praise" etc.

While quoting another story, he made reference to the treasure house that is inside each of us. We often look to others, books, relationships, etc to be the answers to our questions and to give us advice. While those can be good resources, we often miss out on the treasure house we each have in us that can be opened through solitude, prayer, reflection, etc. All too often, we fill our empty times and spaces with entertainment, surface-deep communication, busy-ness and pressures. We are "driven"--a word that is often recognized as positive, but really can be a hinderance to our freedom (what are we driven by? what is controlling our lives?) By making time and space to search our own hearts, to confront ourselves at our very core, we then protect and nurture the mysteries of our lives--the parts of us that make us unique, the deep dreams and hopes, and the good that God has put in us to pour out to others. As he quoted Rilke, "What is going on in your innermost being is worthy of your whole love."

It's a good book so far.

And now for some recent photos:

1. The view of Santa Maria from a street near one of the schools that I bike to: La Cuchilla

2. I walk down this street a couple times a day...sometimes it's beauty gets overlooked.

3. Dinner by candlelight in a restaurant is common when the power goes out. Cabro is a local beer and this particular bottle was lucky enough to get two stickers.

4. There is a clearer version with the flash, but I think this one is way cooler. It captures the feel of the evening better...

5. This candle came in handy when the power went out again at the Entremundos party...

6. Out on our walk up by the Democracia market today...it's always fun to find new streets!

7. What is more fun? Finding cool old buildings such as this:

8. And finding cool doors as well...

9. Too many good textures...

Earthquake!?!

Crazy!

Today was a crazy day! We had so much sun, and so little rain. It was WONDERFUL! However, I forget how much stronger the sun is. I sat outside for awhile today and then had a long bike ride to a school this afternoon, and now my arms and shoulders are on FIRE!

Then, I went to eat with some friends at this great Indian Restaurant. We had to wait about an hour and a half to eat, but it was definitely worth it. Me encanta Sabor de la India. Anyway, while we were sitting there, we noticed the table start to shake. We looked around and other people in the restaurant were all looking around and we realized that the whole room was shaking. It was an earthquake! It didn't last very long, and was only intense enough to be super cool! It was a good first earthquake experience for me!

Tonight, I went with some friends from school and from the hostal to a benefit party for a women's weaving cooperative, Trama. It was a Salsa/other dancing party..very cool! There were free salsa lessons and then everyone just danced. I danced with some fun people, and we were all glad we went. I really need to find a way to keep up this salsa dancing thing when I return to the states....

Today, I biked to another school up the mountain to teach English. There was some confusion about the English/Art classes, so we combined forces. I basically led the kids in a lesson about names for body parts in English, including a group rendition of "heads shoulders knees and toes..." and I realized later after talking with some of the kids and art teachers that I REALLY like working with the kids. I like it way more than I thought I would.

I need to think about that more....

Una Video...

I shot this video last week...it was a little too cloudy, but I hope to add more videos....

fotos...tres

Mas fotos de Xela.......!





1. A close-up of part of the door to El Nahual... (my dad has great ideas!)






2. One of my favorite student art displays at the school...not sure who this is. David Bowie? Boy George?

3. This is one of the many dogs in the neighboorhood. He's trouble and rumored to be rabid...but he can be very cute too!

4. A sign on the post outside the school. A warning?

5. One of the streets in Panajachel. I love the mountains in the cloudy mist.

6. Lago Atitlan. I've heard it's the second most beautiful lake in the world. I believe it.

7. A beautiful building in Panajachel. Guatemala knows how to do color.

8. We found the stairway to heaven. It was in the middle of nowhere...really.

A very good day!

Today has been an amazing day...one of my favorites since I've been in Xela...

First of all, I woke up this morning to the realization that I had my first dream in Spanish! I don't remember much about it except that I was using verbs correctly, and I was really excited about it.

Then, we walked to school, and the sun was actually shining! It was even warm! We haven't had weather that nice in WAY too long...I can't remember actually. Sure, we had more rain later, but that bit of sun was enough to light the entire day.

Then, my class today went really well. I was studying future tense and the uses of "por" and "para" and I was actually getting it. I was so overjoyed to be studying today and practicing my spanish, and I almost got teary-eyed because my teacher told me that one of the other teachers was noticing that I was speaking more these days! Little by little...

Later, we had a school salsa lesson. It was great to practice and learn a few more things. After that, I had the afternoon free so I ate at my favorite restaurant, leisurely did my homework, chatted with some friends and relaxed. Tonight, we went to eat at this great Indian place with amazing Licuados (fruit smoothies). It was such a neat time eating and chatting with my girls about relationships, personalities...you name it. Good stuff.

And finally, tonight I accomplished a major life goal: to go dancing at a real salsa club. La Panderria has free lessons on Wednesday nights, so a couple of girlfriends and I went. We did some group warmups and then the instructor asked me to dance. He was a GREAT leader, and we did some cool turns and spins and such and danced for awhile. It felt so great to not only be at a real salsa club, but also to be actually dancing not completely foolishly (i hope).

Day by day, I'm loving life in Xela more and more. I've had so many great opportunities and experiences here so far...once again, I'm very thankful.

I was thinking the other day about how wonderful it is to be sitting in my room, walking down the street or eating dinner and hearing people speaking Spanish all around. I will miss that very much.

Felicidad...

I need to blog today: we're in the middle of a tropical storm--Arthur is the name, I believe. Anyway, lots of intense rain and such. Schools were called off today because of flooding and dangerous roads. We still had our volunteer work, but we only have a few students come to our programs. All day, my clothes were soaking wet, and it was very cold, but it wasn't too miserable somehow. Guatemala is an experience. For example, yesterday I went with some friends to the most beautiful lake, Lake Atitlan, located at the feet of some incredible volcanos. On our way back, we took the infamous Chicken Buses. Imagine a typical US school bus, but really old and rickety, crammed with adults, three per seat and more in the aisles standing. At one point, I was on the edge of a seat with three generations of Mayan women. We were toward the front of the bus, so I could see our reflection in the driver's mirror. I was captivated by the juxtapostion of cultures: those three beautiful women in their amazing colorful traditional clothing, and this blonde, white girl in her black nike sweatshirt. It was so fascinating, and I couldn't help but grin and love it. It wasn't the most comfortable of transportation, and there was an overwhelming sausage smell, but it was a great experience. And the storm today was an experience as well. It's not everyday that I get to take Spanish class by candlelight at 8am and drink tea made of herbs grown in the highlands of Guatemala.

Today, Jaime, the founder/director of this school--an amazing man who's had an incredible backgroud...i think he was a priest for awhile--was talking to our group. He was talking about his reasons for starting the school and the philosphy behind it all. He gave a bunch of statistics about how few kids get good opportunities for education and it just perpetuates the poverty and such. He was saying how because he had the opportunity to study two fields in college and such that he was obligated to provide others those opportunities. He gave an illustration: we all have 5 cents. one cent is for breakfast, one for lunch, one for dinner, one for our transportation, and one for a snack. If we evaluate our lives, we can see that we probably don't need that snack--it is an extravagance that we really can live without and going without it might be healthier for us in the long run. And if we evaluate further, we find that we probably don't need to use that one cent for our own private transportation, but that we can take the bus or walk or ride a bike. By doing one of those things, we are better able to connect with other human beings, especially those we want to serve who cannot afford to spend that one cent on their own car. So in the end, after we evaluate and simplify our lives, we find that we have two cents to share with those who really need it. It was an interesting illustration. Then he went on to talk about how some students asked mother theresa, "how much should I give? How much is enough?" and she replied, "give until it hurts." Jaime talked about how we need to give from our hearts and recognize the power of community and identify with those we serve instead of just presenting a gift and then abandoning those relationships. It should be more than simple charity, but it is investing in lives and working together to improve our situations. It was a pretty amazing talk.

Also, this week, a group of about 15 art/social justice students from cali came to the school. they're focusing on developing a sustainable project to give students in impoverished areas more opportunities for art for self-development and creative exploration---such a cool project. I'm excited to learn from them as well, and I just feel so incredibly thankful to be able to connect with these people and learn from them.

Thankful. That has been the word of this experience....I'm overwhelmed by the gift of these people and these experiences and those who support me here and at home. In the words of a friend quoting a character in a Kurt Vonnegut book today, "If this isn't happiness, what is? "